I'm drive I can fine osifer
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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