Say something about gay babies.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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