Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
