she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
