i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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