i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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