I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
