so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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