Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
