Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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