Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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