She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
