I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
