"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
