I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm passing your future prison.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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