I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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