i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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