we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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