"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
