you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Porn is love you can see.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
