i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
