need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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