Non-Jews are for practice
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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