Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
