just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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