theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
