There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
