At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
