I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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