Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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