shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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