he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
