i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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