We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
