what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
