i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
