She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
