I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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