Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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