goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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