Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
