Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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