i always forget guys have bellybuttons
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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