guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
