I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
