In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
