She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
