yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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