do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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