Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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