Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
