ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
